The Girl Next Door is Black

The Life & Opinions of a Late GenX-er/Early Millennial

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  • Category: "Life"
  • #AirbnbWhileBlack aka Racism Lurks Everywhere

    Wednesday, June 22, 2016 13 Culture + Society, Life #airbnbwhileback, Black people, discrimination, home-sharing, inclusion Permalink 9
    Unwelcome Mat

    You may be familiar with #AirbnbWhileBlack, the hashtag that quickly gained traction on Twitter, and attracted coverage from several media outlets. NPR even hosted a Twitter chat on the subject. Tweet after tweet, Airbinb users contributed personal accounts of rental requests being rejected due to discrimination by the host.

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  • Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes: The Girl Next Door is Black, on the Move

    Thursday, June 16, 2016 21 Life airbnb, cats, change, depression, job search Permalink 11
    Changes ahead

    You’d think after all the times I’ve moved as a kid and an adult, that it’d get easier, less stressful, but noooooo. As per usual, life has other plans and laugh’s at yours.

    Life: “Mwah haha. I spit on your plans! I will do as I see fit. Ya dig?”

    In case you missed the announcement on Facebook, I officially moved to…

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  • I Could Have Used More Laughs and Fewer Tears, but 2015 Was Actually Pretty Okay

    Thursday, December 31, 2015 37 Blogging, Culture + Society, Life, Pop Culture, Travel 2015 retrospective, binge-watching, Black Lives Matter, books, depression Permalink 14
    2015, like every other year, had it's ups and downs. However, it's important not to let the year's lows overshadow the highs. | Read more from "2015 Year in Review: I Could Have Used More Laughs and Fewer Tears, but It Actually Wasn't That Terrible" on The Girl Next Door is Black

    Happy New Year!

    2015, like every other year, had it’s ups and downs. However, it’s important not to let the year’s lows overshadow the highs.

    When I considered writing an end of the year retrospective, my face scrunched up in disgust as I reflected on 2015. Not my favorite year by a longshot. So much of it felt like a continuous struggle – like I’m in the middle of a significant lesson which I’ve tired of learning.

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  • 3 Important Life Lessons I Learned From An Unlikely Friendship

    Thursday, October 22, 2015 18 Life, Los Angeles adult friendships, black in Orange County, black people in white spaces, cubicle farm, Dilbert office Permalink 13
    Sometimes you find friendship in the most unlikely people. | Read more on The Girl Next Door is Black in "3 Important Life Lessons I Learned From an Unlikely Friendship"

    One of my closest friends is a white woman 30 years my senior – a Baby Boomer. We shared a cubicle wall back in the ’00s when we worked in IT at a large insurance company. I hated that job so much that some mornings I’d sit in my car and cry before leaving for the office.

    It was the type of job where I had a micro-managing relic of a supervisor whom on a daily basis would periodically stroll by unsubtly peeking at our screens to make sure we weren’t surfing the internet.

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  • San Francisco, I Think I’m Over You

    Tuesday, September 22, 2015 42 Life, San Francisco black in San Francisco, black in tech, dating, dating in San Francisco, high rent Permalink 14
    After three years of living in San Francisco, I think it may be time to call it quits. Read more from "San Francisco, I Think I'm Over You" at The Girl Next Door is Black

    I’m kind of back to not liking living in San Francisco.

    Part of my disenchantment is probably my fault. I arrived here with big dreams I’ve yet to see realized. For one, I thought I’d fall into a good group of friends. Instead, someone I considered a good friend ghosted on me. Though I have made a few good friends whom I am grateful for, they’re from disparate circles. My social life is unrecognizable to me.

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  • Why Her, Why Now?

    Monday, July 13, 2015 26 Life, Los Angeles cancer, death, friends, fuck cancer, koreatown Permalink 0
    Life is notoriously unfair. Bad things happen to good people while people who cause harm to others remain earthly. Cancer took another soul way too early. | Read more from "Why Her, Why Now" on The Girl Next Door is Black

    Her death didn’t come as a complete surprise. A cancer diagnosis six years ago was only the first of three. Three times my poor friend had to endure intensely draining – in all senses of the word – cycles of surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. I saw her when she lost her hair and covered her head with baseball caps, generally opting out of wigs.

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  • Why “Black Twitter” is Important

    Thursday, July 2, 2015 25 Life black in San Francisco, Black Twitter, Charleston Shooting, Facebook, Ferguson Permalink 0
    The benefits of social media, particularly Black Twitter | Read more from "Why I Am Grateful for Black Twitter" on The Girl Next Door is Black

    I’ve been in San Francisco for two and a half years and I feel I am withdrawing. I don’t think I fit in here. I spend a lot more time alone than I did in my former life in Los Angeles.

    This past year has been particularly isolating as America’s longstanding simmering racial tensions bubbled up to the surface with a vengeance, ignited by Michael Brown’s murder last summer. After which, conflicting emotions of hopeless grief and building fury alternately gnawed at me.

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  • Don’t Call Me “Girl”

    Tuesday, June 16, 2015 59 Culture + Society, Life Bloggy Boot Camp, conversations with strangers, disrespect, Don't Call me Girl, Girl vs Woman Permalink 0
    Grown women should not be referred to nor treated as a "girl". Read more on The Girl Next Door is Black

    “Girls! Girls!” a large, middle-aged man in a bright yellow safety vest hollered at me and my new friend from across the parking lot as we walked away from my rental car.

    I turned slowly around, cocked an eyebrow and didn’t begin moving in his direction until my companion did.

    “Yes?” I asked with a touch of attitude as we neared him. He’d yelled out to us like we’d done something wrong.

    “Where are you girls going?”

    So far I liked nothing about this encounter.

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  • I Don’t Really Care About Buying a House

    Wednesday, June 10, 2015 36 Life buying a home, family, gen-xers, home ownership, house hunters Permalink 0
    Buying a house is seen by some as an ultimate symbol of success, but what if you don't really care if you buy a house? Read more on The Girl Next Door is Black

    As my 40th year grows nearer, my dad insists that I need to consider buying property. To him – and many other Americans – owning a home is one of the cornerstones of success. I remember when my parents bought their first home. It was a source of pride for the whole family – a huge achievement. Owning a home was a visual representation of having “made it.”

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  • Roaring ’20s-Style Bachelorette Weekend in Palm Springs

    Thursday, May 21, 2015 23 Life, Travel, US Travel 1920s theme, Aerial tram, bachelorette weekend, California, flying Permalink 0
    20s Style Bachelorette Celebration | The Girl Next Door is Black

    Though my flight from San Francisco was only a little over an hour to Palm Springs, turbulence plagued the last 15 minutes. As I gripped both arm rests, wondering if this might be where it all ends, I scolded myself for not having made friends with the guy next to me. He might be the last person I see. I should at least know his name. I silently protested: “I’m not ready to go yet. It’s not time!” I heard a small child cry: “Mooom, I don’t like this!” Kid, we are on the same page.

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  • Another Black Life As a Hashtag

    Thursday, April 23, 2015 8 Life #alllivesmatter, #BlackLivesMatter, african-americans, black men, Black people Permalink 0
    Police Brutality from "Another Black Life As a Hashtag" on The Girl Next Door is Black

    I felt the sting of threatening tears as I read tweet after tweet, largely authored by black faces. Individual, collective virtual protests over the acquittal of the police officer who killed Rekia Boyd. Rekia, a 22-year old, black Chicago resident was unarmed when off-duty officer, Dante Servin, shot her in the back of the head, killing her.

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  • Why Are You So Quiet?

    Thursday, April 16, 2015 47 Life a to z challenge, ambivert, conversation, Extraversion and introversion, friends Permalink 0
    Why Are You So Quiet? | The Girl Next Door is Black

    My best friend in high school ended our friendship in a letter. She was a year older and in her first year of college in a different city. In the letter she listed a number of issues she had with me. Of all the words she wrote me in that two-paged front-and-back handwritten missive, I vividly remember reading: “And you’re too quiet sometimes! It’s like: talk!” The words struck me with as much force as if she’d come back to town just to punch me in my stomach.

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  • That Time I Almost Accidentally Joined a Cult

    Thursday, April 9, 2015 31 Life, Los Angeles acting, Church of Scientology, cults, Going Clear, Hollywood scams Permalink 0
    Cult | The Girl Next Door is Black

    All the chatter about the HBO documentary on the Church of Scientology, Going Clear, got me thinking about my own experiences with a similar church I’ll call the Church of OddPhilosophies. Because I would never say anything bad about the Church of Scientology.

    I was once on the run from the Church of OddPhilosophies.

    Ok, so things weren’t as dramatic as that, but there did exist a time when I had to avoid the COO.

    Picture it: the early ’00s, Los Angeles, California. A city of towering palm trees, near constant sunshine, and an overabundance of injectable-filled faces. A twenty-something woman full of youthful energy and naiveté dreams of a brilliant acting career.

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  • When You Agree to Discuss Racism on the Radio with a Black Conservative

    Monday, April 6, 2015 19 Culture + Society, Life Black people, Black Republicans, conversations about race, family, Jesse Lee Peterson Permalink 0
    "That was around the time Jesse asked me, "What else can white people do for black people, so that black people will finally say: 'ok you're not racist, you love me, you've given us allllll that we've wanted, and we appreciate it, so now we're going to take control of our own lives'? Is there anything else that white people can do to satisfy black people?"" from "When You Agree to Discuss Racism on the Radio with a Black Conservative" on The Girl Next Door is Black

    That was around the time Jesse asked me, “What else can white people do for black people, so that black people will finally say: ‘ok you’re not racist, you love me, you’ve given us allllll that we’ve wanted, and we appreciate it, so now we’re going to take control of our own lives’? Is there anything else that white people can do to satisfy black people?”

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  • Alleys and Alleys of Murals in San Francisco

    Tuesday, March 31, 2015 27 San Francisco art, gentrification, Latino-Americans, murals, Offbeat Things to Do in San Francisco Permalink 0
    Michael Jackson Mural in Mission, San Francisco from The Girl Next Door is Black

    Like many cities in the US, San Francisco is experiencing a wave of gentrification that is welcomed by some residents and the subject of much derision for others. Often central to the debate is the Mission District, an eclectic enclave whose formerly large working- and middle-class Latino population moves further south as the gentrifiers roll in by the dozens: well-paid, largely young, white, male, and employed by tech companies. Their presence brings higher rents, priced-out renters, long waits and lines at a growing number of trendy restaurants and cafes, and a fear of cultural and historical erasure.

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