By 
I Could Have Used More Laughs and Fewer Tears, but 2015 Was Actually Pretty Okay
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When I considered writing an end of the year retrospective, my face scrunched up in disgust as I reflected on 2015. Not my favorite year by a longshot. So much of it felt like a continuous struggle – like I’m in the middle of a significant lesson which I’ve tired of learning. Part of that may be the depression talking. It’s been one of the roughest years for me in a long while on that front and I know how much it can cloud and distort a person’s view of situations. A year is a fairly arbitrary measure of time and in the space of those bookends much transpired – good, bad and adjectives in between. There are layers to this life thing.
Instead of dwelling on the year’s lows and looking at the year simplistically, I opted to capture the essence of each month – a reflection of what was going during that period in time – including the books I read, TV shows I binged, trips I took and posts I wrote that resonated with people. It turns out that 2015 wasn’t as “garbage” as I initially thought.
2015: Year in Review
January
Highs: Woke up in Prague after a fun New Years Eve. • Designed and ordered my first box of business cards as a writer and blogger. • Was excited to be followed by Taye Diggs on Twitter until I found out he follows practically everyone.
Lows: Driving 90 miles north to UC Davis’ Veterinary School to see if my beloved, 13-year old cat has cancer (inconclusive, tests are $$$$)
Binge-watched: Frasier (all seasons – there are 11!), The Originals (s1)
Read: The Andy Cohen Diaries: A Deep Look at a Shallow Year ☆☆☆☆☆
Traveled: Prague • Warsaw
Wrote: GoodBye Weave; Hello Curls! (Most viewed post in January and in all of 2015)
February
Highs: Littlest sister visited from Texas!
Lows: Littlest sister went back home.
Binge-watched: Frasier cont’d • Arrow (s1-3 )
Read: Where’d You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple ☆☆☆☆☆
Wrote: Essential Blogging Resource Guide (one of the top 3 “pinned” posts in 2015)
March
Highs: A photographer friend profiled me on his site • Heard Talib Kweli speak on race and hip-hop at The Commonwealth Club • A friend sent me surprise flowers for my birthday. I love surprises like that!
Lows: Not being able to fly to Texas to celebrate my (Texas) mom’s milestone birthday
Binge-watched: Arrow cont’d • House of Cards (s1-3)
Read: Disintegration: The Splintering of Black America by Eugene Robinson ☆☆☆☆☆
Wrote: No, I’m Not a Mommy (most comments of the year)
April
Highs: Being invited as a guest on a radio show. I thought my nerves were going to get the best of me, but I did it and I didn’t make myself look like a fool! • Caught up with a good friend from L.A. who was passing through San Francisco for a blip. We laughed so hard; it was just what I needed.
Lows: The Uprising in Baltimore, Maryland after the death of Freddie Gray – specifically the way many mainstream media outlets distorted events, as well as how excessive policing goaded and further traumatized people already in emotional distress.
Binge-watched: Marvel’s Daredevil • Bones (s5-9)
Wrote: 5 Myths About Black Americans That Need to Disappear (4th most popular post of the year)
May
Highs: My friend’s super fun bachelorette weekend in Palms Springs • Attended my first blog conference (Bloggy Boot Camp in Temecula – Nia Peeples was there!) • Reunited with my Europe travel buddy for a weekend
Binge-watched: Bones cont’d
Traveled: Palm Springs • Temecula / San Diego
Wrote: Not Your Grandparents’ Brand of Racism
June
Highs: Watched two friends who seem made for each other get married • Saw an excellent and poignant one-woman show at The Marsh called Black Virgins Are Not for Hipsters • Danced to tracks spun by Ryan Hemsworth at 1015 Folsom • Saw Kim Kardashian talk about the sexual objectification of women in the media (yes, really) at The Commonwealth Club (While I’ve never been her biggest fan, I have to admit she gives a charming interview and is likely smarter than she’s given credit for). My friend J and I are now technically in an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians since the cameras were there with Kim and panned over the audience.
A friend sent me an email out of the blue saying “write a book please” – it meant a lot. • Bree Newsome climbed a flagpole and took down the anachronistic Confederate Flag waving in front of South Carolina’s capitol building!
Lows: A delusional white supremacist befriended and then murdered 9 black parishioners in a Charleston, South Carolina church. Being in the office – where I was one of very few black employees – feeling alone in mourning the lives lost, because no one else seemed care about what had happened – at least not to the degree I did.
Binge-watched: Orange is the New Black (s2-3)
Read: Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie ☆☆☆☆☆
Wrote: Don’t Call Me “Girl”
July
Highs: First BlogHer conference • Spent time with my (New York) mom and my grandparents • Took in another one woman show, this time by Anna Deavere Smith called Notes from the Field: Doing Time in Education at Berkeley Rep – disquieting commentary on the US educational system and the “school-to-prison” pipeline. • BlogHer.com picked up my post What Emotions Am I Allowed to Have as a Black Woman for syndication!
BlogHer 2015 is hands down the best conference I’ve ever attended. Among many highlights: I learned more than I probably am even aware; shared an inspiring moment of solidarity led by the co-founders of the Black Lives Matter movement; met one of the bloggers I admire, Awesomely Luvvie (and acted like a fool incapable of forming proper sentences); listened with great interest as the talented film director Ava DuVernay imparted words of wisdom; and engaged in refreshingly honest discussion on sexual harassment, intersectional feminism, and domestic violence helmed by three formidable women behind a few of the most powerful “hashtag activism” movements on Twitter in recent years.
I also met some wonderful new people, and to wrap it all up we celebrated with a party where Boyz II Men performed, Nick Cannon DJed, we “whip and nae nae”d, and dined on all the McDonald’s we could eat!
Lows: My friend died from cancer • In a case of police abuse that hit frighteningly close to home, a 28-year old black woman named Sandra Bland was found dead in her jail cell under extremely suspicious circumstances – after a questionable arrest. This just weeks after the murders in Charleston. Again, working in the office – trying to get through the day coherently and without breaking into tears – seemed like a form of self-flagellation.
Binge-watched: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt • Veep
Read: The Plum Tree by Ellen Marie Wiseman ☆☆☆☆☆
Traveled: New York
Wrote: What Emotions Am I Allowed to Have as a Black Woman? (3rd most popular post of the year)
August
Highs: Reunited with my friends/favorite ex-coworkers to celebrate the life of our friend E- who died in July • Caught up other good friends in Los Angeles for Mexican food • Went to a San Francisco Giants game with a friend in town from L.A. • Surprised and honored to be included in Quirky, Brown Love’s 200 Amazing Black Bloggers (among great company).
Lows: The reason for the reunion • Took an unscheduled break from blogging to recharge
Read: The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins ☆☆☆☆☆ • Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates ☆☆☆☆☆ • The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl by Issa Rae ☆☆☆☆☆
Traveled: Los Angeles
Wrote: White Supremacy: I Don’t Know How Much More of It I Can Handle
September
Highs: Visited my Vegas grandmother, got her signed up for seniors’ internet classes at her local library, helped her secure her membership at the ‘Y’ where she now enjoys taking chair yoga, and took her shopping because as I told her, just because you’re working out doesn’t mean you should dress any ol’ way and she was going to be a “fly granny.” 79 and still going strong. Get it granny! • Second youngest sister visited from Texas! • Danced my butt off at the Oakland Music Festival with said sister. • Invited onto The Unconventional Woman Podcast as a guest.
Lows: Had a mammogram to check out a lump (everything’s fine). • Second youngest sister returned home.
Binge-watched: Sliders (re-watched series) • Power
Traveled: Las Vegas
Wrote: San Francisco, I Think I’m Over You
https://www.instagram.com/p/8Mjn-qKrjh/
October
Highs: Saw the hilarious duo, Tracy Clayton and Heben Nigatu, from one of my favorite podcasts Another Round at Popup Magazine’s inventive evening of live storytelling • Took Mattieologie’s Full Time Formula webinar on making real income as a blogger that got me all fired up • Caught up with two former co-workers • For Harriet published my piece Growing Up “Keisha” in a World of Ashleys and Joshes! • Did an urban hike on Halloween with the Outdoor Afro Club and my friend K (black people like the outdoors too!).
Binge-watched: Person of Interest (s1-4) • Charmed (re-watched from the beginning)
Wrote: Growing Up “Keisha” in a World of Ashleys and Joshes
November
Highs: With my second youngest sister, I spent my first Thanksgiving in over 20 years with my (New York) mom and her side of the family. Met a bunch of new-to-me and new-to-this-earth cousins. • Saw a live taping of The View and softened toward Raven; DJ Tanner was there!; left with a $100 gift card to Lulu’s and an Alessia Cara CD (the musical guest on the show).
Lows: A job I wanted that would have allowed me to work remotely didn’t pan out
Binge-watched Chicago Fire (whole series) • The Fosters (s3) • Being Mary Jane (whole series)
Read: We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie ☆☆☆☆☆ • Syrup: A Novel by Max Barry ☆☆☆☆☆
Traveled: New York
Wrote: Quit Talking about the Lack of Diversity and Do Something
December
Highs: Hung out with a high school classmate I haven’t seen since we graduated almost 20 years ago • Traveled to my 5th continent – Asia • Came in 2nd in my fantasy football league (I started playing again; I’m a hypocrite.) • Checked out a cat café in Oakland. So cute.
Binge-watched: Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce • Casual
Read: The Short and Tragic Life of Robert Peace: A Brilliant Young Man Who Left Newark for the Ivy League by Jeff Hobbs ☆☆☆☆☆
Traveled: Ho Chi Minh City, all over Cambodia, Bangkok, Shanghai
Once I put it all down, it’s clear that I have a lot to be grateful for this year. It’s far too easy to focus on what you don’t have, haven’t accomplished, who’s not with you, or how much money you didn’t make. It’s important not to let the year’s lows overshadow its’ memorable highlights.
I am healthy, I have a safe place to live, I don’t have to search for food, my family is safe and generally healthy, I have friends and people who love me. So take that depression!
With all that said, 2016 I hope you are planning to bring it.
How did you feel about 2015? What were your highs and lows? What did you watch/listen to/read/create? Travel anywhere interesting?
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I Became an EntrePreneur Because Clearly I’m a Glutton for Punishment
I built my first business at 6-years old – a bakeshop, because when you’re that age, having your own store full of delectable sweets seems like the best idea in the whoooooole wide world. I lovingly designed the awning with alternating red and white blocks that stretched across the windowed storefront. I made the best damn paper cupcakes in Brooklyn and my mother was my favorite customer, exchanging the fake currency I’d cut out from green construction paper for inedible treats with an amused grin.
When I shared a version of this memory with the career counselor I sought guidance from a couple of years ago, she said, “I really think you are an entrepreneur. So much of what you’ve told me about your past and all the organizations you’ve started and your ability to lead people reminds me of my entrepreneurial clients.”
I dismissed her idea fairly quickly as I contemplated all the moving parts involved in running a successful enterprise. “No, no. I haaate having to sell and do the marketing. I don’t want to have to deal with numbers and managing money. Plus you’re not guaranteed a steady paycheck. Who needs the headache? I just want to get paid to think. To research ideas, study society and write about what I think. Where’s that job?”
I could tell my answer exasperated her. She clearly saw something in me that I didn’t or couldn’t.
Last summer, after the “shady layoff of 2014“, I recalled that conversation when I realized I’d been bestowed with an opportunity to make a significant career change. That fall I experienced a light-bulb moment: “Hey dumbass, you have that blog that you put a whole lot of work into for free because you like it. Why don’t you do something with that? People keep saying you should.” So, I did.
A year later, I’ve:
- transitioned from a hosted blog to self-hosted
- redesigned the blog interface
- registered as an LLC, with trademark approval pending
- tripled my social media following
- doubled my blog subscribers
- been paid to write for the first time ever
- been hired by brands to promote them
- attended two blog conferences as an official blogger
- discovered an additional passion for speaking my thoughts as well as writing them, thanks to a radio and podcast appearance.
I am running a business. I have become the entrepreneur my career counselor glimpsed.
Many of the items above seemed unattainable when I started out. Yet, I rarely take the time to stop and appreciate the results of my efforts. I’m proud of these accomplishments, but I still have a long way to go. With what I’ve achieved so far, I cannot yet say: “I make a living through writing, speaking and teaching.”
It’s a difficult undertaking. I’ve wondered many times if I’m making the right choices. Who the hell decides to walk away from tech paychecks to become a writer and blogger? Do people even read beyond 160-characters anymore? I hit 40 in a few years. I’m “supposed” to be firming up the foundation of my career now, not starting over.
I only confide in a few people about my doubts. As I’ve discovered, being an entrepreneur is at times, quite a lonely existence. In my experience, those who chose a more traditional career route, such as 9-to-6ers, have the most difficultly relating to and understanding what it is I’m trying to achieve. They don’t always get it. I didn’t fully get it myself. It took months of unlearning the working world view I’d held for so long before I became more comfortable with the idea of moving in a less stable direction.
Some will casually ask, “So are you still blogging?” as though it’s just a passing fancy and all the work, energy and money I put into it, as well as the fears and tears is just something trivial I’m playing around with. It’s insulting. It’s like they’re saying: “Are you done goofing off yet and ready to come back to the real world? Be chained to your desk like the rest of us!”
Earlier this year, I took on a contract job in my former field to pay the bills. The company is a well-known startup and a few years ago I would have had a greater appreciation for having their name on my résumé. However, at this point, I’ve seen what’s behind all the free food, fancy perks and “unlimited” vacation and I no longer buy into it. I’m here for the money, not to pretend like when the board members, C-levels and stockholders make stacks of bills, I see even a 1/100 of it. I’d rather work just as hard – if not harder, since I’m the only employee – and actually feel connected to the results of my work, as well as get paid what I’m worth.
Family and friends have asked, “How’s work?”
Knowing they mean the day job at the startup, I’d respond, “Oh the blog? It’s going. I’m making progress day by day.” Of course, they press further, “No, the startup.”
I give a speedy summary of the office perks, grumble about the coldness of the environment and end with, “It’s just a day job. I am grateful for the opportunity and the paycheck, but it has little do with my future and I hate every day that I have to go there.”
I get it though. Tech startups are fascinating organisms; I’m just jaded.
Returns aren’t fast and easy when you build your own business. As many a successful entrepreneur will tell you, few people blow up overnight. There are often years of toiling, tweaking and struggling behind what may appear as “overnight success.”
However, if you’re not making sustainable living right away, it seems as though in the eyes of some, you’re failing and again, it’s time to give up the dream. It’s like: “Hey, you’ve been doing this for 6 months. Can you quit your day job yet? No? Well, maybe you should think about doing something else?”
I realize I’m projecting some of my own fears onto others, but much of this stems from actual conversations I’ve had.
I’m not always sure what my next steps are – because in this life, the path is more uncertain, but I’m dedicated to what I’ve set out to do.
I don’t know if I’ll achieve my goals of being self-employed and retiring early, so I can really devote my life to issues that matter, but dammit I’ve got to try. If not in this life, when? The other way of life was killing me softly and life isn’t worth living if that’s what it’s about.
Do you own a business? What challenges have you faced as a business owner? Why did you decide to become an entrepreneur?
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Taking a Break from Blogging
I’ve never really taken an official break from blogging in the three years of this blog’s existence – even when I’ve gone on vacation. So, I’m taking a break.
Why now?
Quite frankly, I am exhausted by what’s going on in the world, particularly in the United States.
We’ve got a racist, ethnocentric, xenophobic, entitled demagogue running for President and dominating the media.
Meanwhile, people actually dedicating their lives to fighting for racial equality – you know, doing good work – are spied on or dragged through the mud and the media jumps on the story like a rabid pack of dogs.
Police shot and killed yet another black person and again people are blaming the victim and not questioning the police statements full of holes. Protestors seeking answers received responses in the form of tear gas and officers marching toward them armed like they’re off to fight ISIS.
And the Federal government is doing what about this?
That’s just a fraction of the nonsense.
I find myself becoming more misanthropic each day and wondering if humans will ever collectively get our shit together and stop behaving like assholes.
I have nothing to say about these events that I haven’t said before. I feel like I’m screaming into a void and it’s worn me out.
Lately I haven’t had the energy or focus to write and I don’t want to push out content I don’t feel proud of just for consistency’s sake. This goes beyond writer’s block.
On a personal level, I want to focus on continuing to build the foundation for the next phase of my life.
Ultimately, I am taking time to focus on my personal well-being. I need to get my mind right. Recharge so I can return motivated and enthusiastic.
- I’ll also mostly not be responding to comments during this time.
- If you’re not already an email subscriber, you can join today to keep in touch and be notified when I return.
- You can also find me on Twitter and Facebook.
- I’ll return in mid-September.
If There’s No Such Thing As Writer’s Block, Why Can’t I Write?
I’ve struggled with a major case of writer’s block for several months now. Whatever past invisible force moved me to put fingers to keypad appears to have gone on a vacation. In my quest to bring it back from the beach or whatever safari it’s on, I’ve read several posts by other bloggers and writers who struggle with the same blockage. More than a few are adamant that there’s “no such thing as writer’s block.”
If that’s the case, then why is it that each post I crank out lately seems to take me eons to produce? Sometimes I’ll write one sentence, proclaim it “garbage” or not something I can create a post around and there it sits, another unfinished draft.
I understand that writer’s block isn’t just about the seeming inability to write or lacking ideas. There are often underlying reasons for why the words won’t come out.
I believe the problem began once I transitioned from blogging as a hobby to blogging for income.
I resisted monetizing my blog for the longest time despite the fact that several people encouraged me to do so:
“Your blog is great, you should try to make money from it. More people should read what you write!”
“You’re a great writer; you could write a book!”
I demurred for nearly two years, explaining that I enjoy writing as a hobby and don’t want to ruin the fun of it by adding monetary pressure to the mix.
It’s a legitimate concern for me. Back when I was pursuing an acting career, I took classes on different types of method acting, on succeeding in commercial auditions and learning to cold read, among others. It seemed as though the more I learned about the business side of acting and the more I deconstructed acting into a series of methods and it became more about mechanics than the joy of performing, the less pleasurable I found it. Acting used to make me feel alive. I loved losing myself in a character and fed off the energy of delighted audiences. The contentment and sense of liberation I once derived from entertaining, dissipated until I didn’t enjoy it anymore. Once you no longer enjoy acting, putting up with the business of Hollywood shenanigans hardly seems worth it.
Last summer, after getting laid off from my job at Fancy Startup from hell, I knew I had to make a change. I’d spent years agonizing over what my “passion” is. What could I do that’s truly enjoyable, will generate enough income for me to live on (including travel) and not require me to work in the confines of an office – which I’ve never liked – living for the weekend, serving as a lackey to other people’s whims, goals, values and deadlines, along with the accompanying stress, all to make some rich guy richer. One day the proverbial lightbulb appeared and I thought, “Duh, Keisha. Your blog! You do it for free and you love it, why not turn it into something?” Work for myself, you say, self? Yes! Sign me up!
Things went swimmingly until I began to care more about things like traffic stats, comments, social media following and writing the best headlines to get attention. Everything I read and researched in an attempt to help my new business grow, seemed to make me feel more inadequate as a blogger and writer. Am I actually going to make it at this?
Now when I think of what to write, these are some of the thoughts that cycle through my head:
“But, how will I write an intro that hooks readers?”
“Is anyone going to care about this?”
“What is my point? People come to my blog for thought-provoking reads; this post has no point. It’s fluffy.”
“That’s not funny enough. People expect me to be funny.”
“This would make for an excellent blog post, but x person and y person might be offended that I chose to write about this and not that.”
“Passive voice is bad. I have to reconstruct that sentence. Argh!”
“If you want blogging success, you have to write x number of posts a week.”
Each of these notions fill me with apprehension and dampen my desire to write.
It doesn’t help that I’m an overachiever with high standards for work quality.
I want my writing mojo back! Come back my friend! Return to me!
Do you believe in writer’s block? Have you experienced writer’s block; if so, how have you worked through it?
Related articles
Essential Blogging Resource Guide
Whether you want to blog for fun or hope to make a living from it, getting started can be overwhelming.
Perhaps you’re not even sure where to begin. Or maybe you’ve had a blog for a while, but want to propel it to the next level.
I had little idea what I was doing when I started blogging over 2 years ago (longer if you count LiveJournal; remember when that was big?). I’ve learned a lot from running this blog and even more since I transitioned to blogging for income last fall.
In this guide, I’ve compiled a list of some of the most helpful resources to make your blogging adventures less daunting and more effective.
Getting Started
Which blogging platform should you use? WordPress, Blogger, Blogspot? Should you self-host your blog? What should you name it? There are quite a few decision to make before you even put fingers to keys.
- How to Choose a Good Blog Name (nosegraze)
- How to Launch a Blog on a Budget (ByRegina)
- How to Blog Professionally {a peek inside} (Crazy Little Projects)
- How to Start a Blog in 15 Minutes or Less (Amy Lynn Andrews)
- 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started Blogging (MaskCara)
Source
Design & Readability
If you hope to attract readers, you’ll need to pay at least some attention to your blog’s looks. You’re inviting others to your personal spot on the web; you want it to look good. Visitors are more likely to stick around if a blog is easy to read and navigate.
- 11 Tips for Good Blog Design (Crazy for Crust)
- Seven Mistakes Even Nice-Looking Blogs Make (Blog Clarity)
- 7 Tips for a Beautiful Sidebar (Nesha Designs)
- 6 Effective Ways To Make Your Content Easier To Read (Twelveskip)
- Ultimate Guide to Choosing Colors for Your Blog or Website (Design Your Own Lovely Blog)
Source
What Should You Blog About?
Ultimately, the most successful bloggers will recommend you write from the heart. Some bloggers fall into a niche like cooking, crafting, mommy, dad or travel, to name a few. Blog about what you know. You are what makes your blog different from the next.
- What Kind of Blog Should I Start? (Blog Ambitions)
- How to Start a Blog: Finding a Niche (Elle & Co.)
- How to Blog Without a Niche (The Scenic Life)
- 50 Can’t-Fail Techniques for Finding Great Blog Topics (copyblogger)
- The Secret to a Gazillion Blog Post Ideas (Blog Clarity)
Source
Getting Readers
So you’ve got the blog name, you know what your blog is all about and it’s looking mighty fine. How do you get people to read your brilliance?
- Top 5 Tips for Better Blog Post Titles (The Work at Home Wife)
- How to Get More Traffic to Your Blog and Keep It There (Goins, Writer)
- How I More Than Doubled My Page Views in 2 Months (Budget Girl)
- How Can I Write a Successful Blog and Get More People to Read It? (Lifehacker)
- Proven Ways to Write Killer Blog Content and Get More Readers (Successful Blogging)
Boosting Your Blog
You can supercharge your blog by reducing page load times, optimizing posts and images for SEO, or a number of other blog enhancements.
- How to Write Unforgettable Blog Posts (Lisa Kerr)
- 19 Ridiculously Useful Tips Every Blogger Should Know (Buzzfeed)
- 7 Simple Edits That Make Your Writing 100% More Powerful (Boost Blog Traffic)
- 9 Blogging Problems and How to Fix Them (Kate the {almost} Great)
- 10 Things to Check Before Hitting ‘Publish’ (Amuse Your Bouche)
Source
Blogging for Money
Making money from blogging isn’t necessarily easy, but it’s not impossible.
- 7 Ways to Make Money from Blogging (Mint.com)
- 10 Things You Need to Know Before Becoming a Full-Time Blogger (Twelveskip)
- Blogging Tips: How to Monetize Your Blog (Cooking With a Wallflower)
- Monetizing A Blog From Day One (Snail Pace Transformations)
- How Much Money Do Bloggers Really Make? (Beauty Through Imperfection)
You can also check out my blogging Pinterest boards for more resources.
Happy blogging!
What advice would you give to a blogger just starting out? What advice have you found most helpful?
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I am not seeking nor accepting submissions to add to this guide. Please do not contact me with a request to include your content.
I'm Keisha ("Kee-shuh", not to be confused with 
