My Dad and ‘The Guy From That Movie…’

I just got off the phone with my dad. A 45-minute conversation.

Our conversation went something like this:

“Hi, dad.”

“I just tried calling you. Your voicemail box is full.”

“Oh, ok. Yeah, I never check it.”

“Someone might want to call you and leave you a message. Gotta check that.”

The only people who call me and leave messages are Walgreen’s pharmacy with an automated message letting me know that my prescription is ready. So, not even a person.

Don’t Pity Me Because I’m Single

“Are your standards too high?”

My concerned dad, seated in front of me in the booth, waited to hear whether I was self-sabotaging my romantic possibilities and thus crushing his dreams of seeing more grandchildren. Grandchildren from his firstborn. No pressure.

I’d returned to Houston to visit my family for the Christmas holiday. My dad had kidnapped me from my parents’ house, where funnily enough I’d been regalingmy mom with dating horror stories. He’d returned from running whatever errands dads run and whisked me away. He didn’t tell me where we were going. I didn’t know until we pulled into the restaurant parking lot. I guess we’re eating then.