The Girl Next Door is Black

The Life & Opinions of a Late GenX-er/Early Millennial

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  • 3 Important Life Lessons I Learned From An Unlikely Friendship

    Thursday, October 22, 2015 18 Life, Los Angeles adult friendships, black in Orange County, black people in white spaces, cubicle farm, Dilbert office Permalink 13
    Sometimes you find friendship in the most unlikely people. | Read more on The Girl Next Door is Black in "3 Important Life Lessons I Learned From an Unlikely Friendship"

    One of my closest friends is a white woman 30 years my senior – a Baby Boomer. We shared a cubicle wall back in the ’00s when we worked in IT at a large insurance company. I hated that job so much that some mornings I’d sit in my car and cry before leaving for the office.

    It was the type of job where I had a micro-managing relic of a supervisor whom on a daily basis would periodically stroll by unsubtly peeking at our screens to make sure we weren’t surfing the internet.

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  • Why Her, Why Now?

    Monday, July 13, 2015 26 Life, Los Angeles cancer, death, friends, fuck cancer, koreatown Permalink 0
    Life is notoriously unfair. Bad things happen to good people while people who cause harm to others remain earthly. Cancer took another soul way too early. | Read more from "Why Her, Why Now" on The Girl Next Door is Black

    Her death didn’t come as a complete surprise. A cancer diagnosis six years ago was only the first of three. Three times my poor friend had to endure intensely draining – in all senses of the word – cycles of surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. I saw her when she lost her hair and covered her head with baseball caps, generally opting out of wigs.

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  • That Time I Almost Accidentally Joined a Cult

    Thursday, April 9, 2015 31 Life, Los Angeles acting, Church of Scientology, cults, Going Clear, Hollywood scams Permalink 0
    Cult | The Girl Next Door is Black

    All the chatter about the HBO documentary on the Church of Scientology, Going Clear, got me thinking about my own experiences with a similar church I’ll call the Church of OddPhilosophies. Because I would never say anything bad about the Church of Scientology.

    I was once on the run from the Church of OddPhilosophies.

    Ok, so things weren’t as dramatic as that, but there did exist a time when I had to avoid the COO.

    Picture it: the early ’00s, Los Angeles, California. A city of towering palm trees, near constant sunshine, and an overabundance of injectable-filled faces. A twenty-something woman full of youthful energy and naiveté dreams of a brilliant acting career.

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  • 12 Things About My First 12 Months in San Francisco

    Monday, November 11, 2013 13 Life, Los Angeles, San Francisco 405 freeway, BART, Bay Area, busses, cats Permalink 0
    view of the City from Lombard

    Well, well, well, look who survived her first year in San Francisco! That’s right. She of the woeful posts New City, No New Friends, San Francisco: Not a Treat (Yet) and Making Friends: Paying Dues. It’s been a tremendous year with intense ups and downs and quite a bit of change and growth. Here are 12 ways in which my life has changed in the 12 months I’ve lived in San Francisco, from the mundane to the exciting.

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  • I Admit It: I Love L.A.

    Thursday, May 2, 2013 3 Friendship, Life, Los Angeles, San Francisco adjusting after a move, Black people, Discover Los Angeles, friends, Hollywood Permalink 0

    I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of Los Angeles by the time I left in 2012 after over 10 years of calling it home.

    My biggest complaint about L.A. is the heinous, constant traffic. It’s terrible and it’s a regular topic of conversation in L.A. Few cities in the US compare.

    I moved to San Francisco full of hope and relieved to live in a true walking city.  No more daily near-death incidents on the freeway! No more road rage! No more wondering why everyone in a BMW seems to drive like a tool.

    My how things have changed.

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  • The Significance of Gap Jeans

    Monday, February 4, 2013 4 Life, Los Angeles conspicuous consumption, fear of being poor, money, poverty, poverty-anxiety Permalink 0

    A couple of years ago I had an intense crisis of conscious moment while waiting for the bus in North Hollywood. Returning from a beer festival, I’d opted to be a responsible citizen and take public transportation rather than drive. I don’t know what the stats are, but few people in Los Angeles take public transportation. You can see the economic divide between those that take the bus or ride the trains and those who zip around in one of the many BMWs, Mercedes or Porsches that flood the city. I watched as a Latina woman fished around in her purse for change to afford the ride for herself and her three children. I resisted the urge to hand her the extra dollar she was looking for. I didn’t want to assume she needed it and risk insulting her. Near her stood two black female teenagers in worn clothing and holey shoes in dire need of replacement, listening to music and joking with each other.

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  • How I Learned to Love My “Thick Thighs”

    Monday, August 13, 2012 8 Body Image, Culture + Society, Life, Los Angeles, Pop Culture being healthy, bingeing, black female body image, Black people, body acceptance Permalink 0
    Popcorn and Sour Patch Kids, photo by naydeeyah on flickr.com

    I’ve been thinking about my weight since I was 13.

    One day I ate everything I wanted with abandon and the next, the size of my thighs were cause for angst.

    Thirteen is about when I started working out. My mom had a catalog of Jane Fonda videos from the 80s and I was Jane Fonda’s devoted follower. She looked hot in spandex and my thighs did not. Jane still looks hot today. It’s unreal. I also became a devotee of Joyce Vedral and her fat-burning workout. I thank her to this day for my interest in being fit and toned.

    I’ve been known to get a little intense about my interests. My poor parents. As a teen, upon being presented with “soaked in the deep fryer” chicken for dinner, I exclaimed with dramatic horror:

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